Tuesday, March 2, 2010

End of Everything about me

Right now, i already came to the conclusion of something. I made this decision even it's so hard for me to live on it. things done doesn't give me the right definition of what i thought. as time goes by, i just can't understand myself. i can't find the correct word to tell my feelings at this exact moments. lot of things happened. there must be a reason for it, and yes, i am frustrated, and miserable, and one million percent unhappy.

I'm not expect people come to me and understands my emotions as right now. Am i too exaggerate? yeah, because i can't figure it out. why i made this decision? because i DAMNLY hate myself. i hate my feeling, i hate my emotions, i hate the way i think on something and the most hatred is when i just can't realize the way i are. being unethical was a reason i came to this decision. I'm so tired of being ME.! It doesn't means that i wanna be other in myself, but, what i gonna do is to keep myself from other's life.

i'm so fed up with myself. Why should i do this? because, i just an ordinary people. i can't cope with everything that happened. there are voice keep asking me to hold on it.

i wish that i will never me

i feel so blurry right now. I don't even know who i am

after all, the pain inside will never be cured as it leave me the right sign of being stubborn

I'm decided!!

Yes, I am...

I'm so tired of demanding to others , and now, it come to the end of everything

I will not do it anymore

not going to seek something that will never be

whatever it is, there is something people should know about me, about my principle(maybe)

"for you, i bleed myself dry"

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Anonymous said...

dun u ever regret of being yourself..ALLAH is always with us..no matter how much bad things happen to us, remember my friend,it is shows that ALLAH loves us, and HE want to test on how much we will remember HIM for all the test given to us..i prayed that u will not give up to gain KEREDHAANYA..

Ahmad Firdaus @ Yau said...

lot of thanks for your advice..
really appreciate it. at this moment, i really need supports from the surrounding, from the one i love, family and someone. i am so "down" right now. it hurt me enough, what i need is only cares.. i need some acknowledgment in term of true cares from the person i love...