Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Bagaimana lirik sesebuah lagu itu mampu mempengaruhi minda kita

lirik ini diambil dari sebuah lagu korea, haru-haru by Big Bang. dah lama aku layan lagu ni, kalau tak silap dari diploma dulu. kalau dulu sekadar nyanyi sebab lagu ni agak seronok untuk dihafal, dan sekarang berjaya menghafal walaupun orang kata aku nyanyi lagu ni macam "cina maklap" (cina mua'laf) sebab lagu ni memerlukan ketajaman lidah dan kepantasan minda untuk ikut rentak dia. untuk entry kali ni, aku translated lirik lagu ni ke english version. ingat nak translate into bahasa, tapi maksud dia lari tune pulak

dan sebenarnya, haha macam yuna pulak, lagu ni ada maksud yang mendalam. dan kalau nak tau apa yang aku pikirkan sepanjang hari ni dan 2 3 hari yang lalu, lirik lagu ni dapat membantu. kadang2 kita lebih ke arah memendam rasa berbanding meluahkannya. lagi pun, siapa je yang kisah kalau kita berada dalam keadaan yang mana emosi tak berapa nak stabil, jiwa Kacau :-).

I know someone out there must really understand the reason why should i come out with this lyric...

Yeah, Finally I realize that I am nothing without you
I was so wrong, forgive me

My broken heart like a wave
My shaken heart like a wind
My heart vanished like smoke
It can't be removed like a tattoo
I sigh deeply as if a ground is going to cave in
Only dusts are piled up in my mind
(Say goodbye)

Yeah, I thought I wouldn't be able to live even one day without you
But somehow I managed to live on (longer) than I thought
You don't answer anything as I cry out "I miss you"
I hope for a vain expectation but now it's useless

What is it about that person next to you, did he make you cry?
Dear can you even see me, did you forget completely?
I am worried, I feel anxiety because I can't get close nor try to talk to you
I spend long nights by myself, erasing my thoughts a thousand times
Don't look back and leave
Don't find me again and live (on)
Because I have no regrets from loving you, take only the good memories
I can bear it in some way
I can stand in some way
You should be happy if you are like this
I become dull day by day
I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye...

If we pass by each other on the street
Act like you didn't see me and go the way you were walking to
If you keep thinking about our past memories
I might go look for you secretly

Always be happy with him, (so) I won't ever get a different mind
Even smallest regret won't be left out ever
Please live well as if I should feel jealous
You should always be like that bright sky, like that white cloud
Yes, you should always smile like that as if nothing happened

I hope your heart fees relieved
Please forget about me and live (on)
Those tears will dry completely
As time passes by
It would've hurt less if we didn't meet at all
Hope you will bury our promise of being together forever baby
I pray for you

I cry, cry
You're my all, say goodbye, bye
Oh my love don't lie, lie
You're my heart, say goodbye

Monday, August 30, 2010

Apa Kau Tau?

As usual, when it comes to august, everyone become aware of country’s anniversary. Emm, I’m not going to talk or to write about our independence at all. It such a taboo issues for those people who are not appreciate the exertion of the old folks before. The issues here are referring to the narrow mindset of our people.

1- For the past three years, when I got an opportunity to further my studies in higher learning institution (UiTM), everyone around me especially the typical pakcik and makcik kampung try to oppose my decision to commit for it. The reason is, it’s better to look for a job, and then earn money and live happily. But, for me it such a looser for those people who have that kind of thinking. Even our prophet Muhamad also asked us, especially the Muslim to gain the knowledge.

2- When I have reached the age of 21 in the last October, I was asked by one of the government servant (SPR) whom I met in shopping mall to register as a voter for the next General Election. But, I refused to do so. Then I asked him spontaneously, why he is so exaggerate to influence me to register my name? He answered me directly, “the more people registered under my name, the more money I will earn”. Hmm, I’m so upset with this fucking moron guy. You know what, even I’m not going to resister my name as a voter, I still have a good patriotism guts in me. Before I left that guy, I told him something harshly, “Lebih baik tidak mendaftar sebagai pengundi jika dibandingkan dengan sampah-sampah diluar sana yang mudah menjual maruah negara dengan harga yang murah!!”

3- For the current situation, it is hard for us to see the young people to really understand what independence is meant for them. Yes it’s right they are the third generation (generation Y) including me who were born in the late 0f 90s onwards. What makes us differ in our views of our country history? Can you see how many of them really understand the meaning of independence instead of waiting for 12 and shout it loudly as an expression of their pride for our independence? How many of them are able to compete with other races in every single thing, the education, economic, sports, social integrity and what else. Does our history teach us to be worse?

4- Another thing is about political system in our country. Yes I can consider that our country is developing in term of its political. I have learnt about Government and Politic for over than 4 years since I entered into UiTM and taking Policy studies until now. My colleague and I have frequently argued about the changes of the political system in our country. I’m not going to be races here, what I try to convey here is about the unity among the Malays nowadays. Hmm, as a student, we are prohibited to interfere for any political issues. Why not student be given such a way to express their opinion about politic? They are academicians too, am I right?

Jangan salahkan Tun M. kalau melayu jadi penumpang kat negara sendiri.

happy 53rd anniversary Malaysia!!

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Slice - Dia bukan gay!!

Desire has no boundary!

it was the first thing comes to my mind when i was finished watching this movie at Dataran Pahlawan with my friends yesterday. cerita ini di adaptasikan dari kisah kehidupan GAY di mana 2 orang kanak2 lelaki yang menjalani kehidupan bersama sewaktu dari kecil lagi.

Paer Slur: si jejaka kacak yang sangat kesian

Si jejaka ini tidak sesekali mengetahui yang sebenarnya rakan baik dia tu sangat menyukainya. asalnya mereka berdua bukanlah mempunyai sifat2 homoseksuality ni, akan tetapi, disebabkan faktor sekeliling yang mempengaruhi dan menyebabkan mereka diugut untuk melakukan hubungan seksual songsang, maka mereka terjebak ke lembah tersebut.

tapi si hero ni tetap straight! dia tak tahu apa2 sehingga ke penghujung cerita.

disebabkan mereka sangat rapat dari kecil, maka perasaan sayang telah menebal dalam diri masing2. oleh kerana itu, si pasangan kepada jejaka kacak ini telah membunuh sesiapa sahaja yang pernah meliwatnya sewaktu dari kecik lagi, termasuklah bapa dia sendiri. aiyoo, kene liwat dengan bapak sendiri. trauma cukop!

dipendekkan cerita, rupa-rupanya2. si pembunuh misteri dalam cerita tersebut adalah ISTERI kepada jejaka kacak tersebut yang juga adalah sahabat baiknya sewaktu dari kecil lagi!

pening tak?

yang sebenarnya, isteri dia adalah seorang lelaki (transvestite) yang melakukan pembedahan wajah hanya kerana terlalu sayang dan ingin bersama lelaki kacak ni.

ending cerita ni agak menyedihkan apabila isteri (yang confuse) ini meminta agar lelaki kacak ini menembaknya kerana tidak mampu lagi menipu si suami dia.

yang seronoknya, termuntah bagai nak rak si jejaka kacak ni bila dapat tahu si isteri dia adalah seorang lelaki. tapi apa pun, dia cantik apa! tak kantoi sikit pun! haha enjoy~

Saturday, August 28, 2010

Jatuh cinta lagi

Ouuuchh..saya jatuh cinta lagi.

dengan lagu ni. dan orang yang memberikan lagu ini pada saya.

ahh tidak!!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Keputusan Melepaskan Pergi

In life, there are many things that we have to learn to let go. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves.

It's easy to form an attachment to people and things. When you have formed an attachment to people and things, it can be a very painful experience and feeling when you realized that it's time to let go. Even the mere thought of not having that person or thing in your life just squeezes your heart in pain.

However, there are times where you or that person has changed to the extent that it's necessary to let go of the relationship or friendship, so that each of you can fulfill your life path.

By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.

- Lao Tzu-

we have to move on and take all the pain that we have to endure in order to be okay again. letting go is different from saying goodbye. goodbye means you will just need a time and if you are ready to hold that person again you can come back. but letting go is that you have to forget and be ready to start a new because if you will continue to be with the person who you want to be with but still he is rejecting you or does not give you value you are like buying a gun full of unlimited bullets shooting your own self.

it’s just hard not to believe every words person you love would said. But then again, he/she just easily gave up. Reason? he/she would rather believe those people who are not worth believing for.

Sigh….pain…tears…but i don’t have any regrets,

I have been true and yet this is all i got.

i let you go...

sudah la... i should stop forcing myself to love a person who never appreciate me. it's hurt enough! i should love myself first before loving others. well, don't mind at all. i will not going to chase back the person who is currently belong to someone else. it's only take a short period to have someone else.

The Proposal

in the night company by the stars
under the rain fall
sound of the air, the wave of the beach
the spirit grew on me,

silent whisper in the night
it has a million of rainbow shines on me
those breath deep silently awaking the long dull days.

and now...
it rejoice together
and a new comer of your heart

hope you have fun with it
I'm happy with that even i cried to much...

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Social Networking

The moment i post this entry, its already two weeks I have deleted my social networking with strangers. what i mean here is all about my facebook account. I am so tired in answering a moronic question which comes from those people whom i believe not so "clever" in doing a significant with others. people (not at all) nowadays, choose to develop the relationship without knowing the person's bright and dark side at the first place. They tend to develop this kind relationship just because of the imagination of having contentment for a short term period. here are some of the silly questions which I believe not suppose to happen while facebook-ing

1) hye, thanx for the approval. nice to know you! from where you come from?

for this kind of question, i will just ignore it. it is because, at the info side has already been stated every information about me including the personal particular etc. why you have to ask me again? don't you read first about my information before you choose to add me as your friend?

2) It seems like you are currently having a crisis. may i know why?

huh, i am sort of people whom i believe discreet enough in any matter.
sometimes i choosed to answer them just like "so-so". Is it important to us to know other's problems? don't say that you are concern about others problem since you never know what kind of friendship you have at that moment.

3) May i have your mobile number?

huh, shit! this is the most hatred part.!!

4) shall we go for a date?

Sorry, it takes so long for me to hang out with people whom I claimed as social network friends. i I don't have a reason why should i go for a date with strangers.

5) do you have YM? let's cam to cam...

huh, for what reasons you asked me my Yahoo Messenger ID? If I'm going to give you, it just a matter of having a chatting. Not more than that. for the C2C? sorry, I'm not going to sell face there.

6) It seems like Facebook become bored nowadays, don't you think it just waste your time?

hah, that's the reason why i have deleted my Fb last two weeks!!

Monday, August 23, 2010


I only have 0.01 % either to love or be loved!!

Sesungguhnya kepada DIA kita berserah..

tiada satu perkataan yang mampu menzahirkan segala rasa dalam hati.

hanya Dia yang Maha Mengetahui segalanya yang terpahat di dalah hati...

hanya sedikit kekuatan yang aku pohon darimu wahai Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang...

kau tenangkanlah hati ini sebagaimana tenangnya lautan Mu yang terbentang luas pandangan..

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Siapa Yang Kisah?

hari2 yang macam ni lah saya sangat tidak suka lalui. bukan kerana peritnya kerja, bukan juga kerana hebatnya berpuasa, dan bukan juga kerana tidur semata. dek kerana masalah hati yang entah apa2, jadi sedikit tidak kuasa untuk menempuh hari2 yang sedikit duka.

jika nak dibandingkan sakitnya dihati, masakan dapat dicari pengubatnya?
hanya diri yang tersiksa, menangis walau tidak bersuara, meratap dalam sepi, dan berhembus walau terkapai...

dan yang sebenarnya... aku rindu,

pada siapa?

pada si dia...

kerna aku tahu,

hanya dia pengubatnya...

aku mrindukanmu
ketika aku tahu kau tlah jauh berlalu
aku mencari bayanganmu
ketika malam tak lagi menampakkan wajahmu
aku memanggil namamu
diantara gelapnya hutan tak berlampu
dimanakah dirimu?

dimana kau sembunyikan wajahmu?
aku rindu…

-kar, im still loving you-

Friday, August 20, 2010

Rakan sebilik

dan yang buat kita rasa sangatlah dihargai apabila bersama dengan orang tersayang walaupun ia sekejap. pengalaman mengajar! entah kenapa, semenjak dua ni rasa semacam. kosong, gembira dan satu kepuasan yang tak tahu untuk apa. menjadi seorang yang semakin emosi setiap hari. mungkin kerana dah sampai satu tahap matang rasanya, mungkin.

dan waktu itulah rakan sebilik memainkan peranan untuk cuba memahami keadaan. yang selalu dia buat untuk gembirakan hati walaupon kata2nya yang menyakikan hati je ( selalunya). tapi tak mengapalah, sekurang2nya ada juga tempat melepaskan emosi yang tidak tenteram kebiasaanya hadir apabila waktu2 sukar mendatang. buat masa sekarang ni, terlalu sibuk dengan study yang sangat azab buat masa ni. lagi2 bulan ramadhan yang memberi banyak dugaan. tak larat sudah! mencarut dalam hati ja ( walaupun selalu lepas juga)

berbalik tentang rakan sebilik, seorang yang sangat tidak begitu hemah tentang kata2nya yang seringkali buat saya sakit hati yang mendalam juga. yang caranya lebih kepada "coercion power". tapi bukan pada saya, akan tetapi kepada rakan serumah yang lain.

beberapa perkara yang buat kami masing2 bergadoh hanya kerana isu yang kecil. berebut untuk memilih sebagai pembonceng die belakang. lagak gaya seperti seorang kuli dan bos. tetapi dia yang mengalah atas pujuk rayu saya untuk tidak memandu motorsikal yang selalu mendapat perhatian tu. dasar dua2 orang ni pemalas untuk memandu. hanya kerana motor sahaja, kami akan bertekak, tapi sekejap sahaja la. tapi ia akan menjadi rutin setiap hari untuk memilih jalan untuk bergaduh.

berkaitan bilik pula, kalau nak dibandingkan rakan serumah yang lain, kami yang paling hygiene. bila ada sedikit habuk sahaja, habis satu bilik di transformasikan sehingga menjadi seperti bilik 5 bintang. siap dengan aroma therapy lagi (kalo rajin nak pasang la. waktu malas aroma therapy dengan asap rokok ja) haha

bila bercakap soal cinta...haaa!!! padan muka aku! kene berleter sampai nak menanah telinga ni dengar. kan saya dulu pernah berputus cinta dengan seseorang, dan masa itulah dia menjadi pendengar (yang tidak berapa setia) kepada saya. tapi disebabkan saya ni hati basah agaknya, sampai nak meleleh jugak la air mata bila kene leter dengan rakan sebilik ni. tapi yang paling seronok, bila saya memerlukan ruang untuk duduk berseorangan di dalam bilik, melayani perasaan yang sebanyak gila (bila teringat tentang seseorang), maka dia akan mencari tempat beradu yang lain. maka, katil kelamin itu hanya saya yang memonopolinya. haa sangat girang rasanya tidur seorang diri. terbaik!

yang berkaitan pelajaran pula, dia juga merangkap rakan sekumpulan dalam setiap tugasan2. apa lagi, waktu2 macam ni la saya gunakan kuasa saya untuk membuli dia supaya menyiapkan kerja2 tersebut dengan memberi peruntukkan sedikit banyak dari saya punya bahagian. bila lagi nak buli! kalau orang lain berlima dalam sekumpulan, kami pula hanya berdua sahaja untuk setiap tugasan. alah, apa la sangat kalau berlima. buat serabut kepala sahaja. berdua lebih baik! haha dan selalunya kami memilih untuk mempersembahkan setiap tugasan seawal mungkin. dan kami juga diberi title "over" dikalangan rakan2 kerana selalu sangat bertanya soalan bila yang lain sudah habis membentangkan tugasan mereka. dan masa itu juga orang lain akan tarik muka sebab soalan lebih kurang membunuh juga! kalau nak bercakap soal politik atau apa2 sahaja berkaitan kerajaan, saya lah orang yang akan membidas dengan jayanya.

walau apa2pun, kami adalah rakan sebilik, rakan sekelas, rakan se-universiti, rakan serumah, rakan sekumpulan yang seringkali mempunyai perbezaan yang amat ketara dari segala aspek, mahupun tingkah laku...


saya telah berjaya membuatkan rakan sebilik saya ni sedikit jiwang!!!
ya, dia sudah berkecimpung dengan lagu-lagu jiwang (kalau dulu hanya mendengar lagu2 pecah otak saaja), cerita-cerita Korea yang selalu saya tonton, dan apa2 sahaja yang berkaitan sentimental value.

dan dia kini menyalahkan saya dengan mengatakan pengaruh rakan sebaya!

oppss...saya tidak bersalah. soal jiwang tanya hati masing2 ya. ngeh.

nak tahu macam mana nak jadi jiwang?
layan cerita korea ni

-Personal Taste-

Sunday, August 15, 2010


Today such a weary day of mine, as weekdays give me so many fixations and make me so tired. Uhh I wish I wanna go to the beach again. Have some pleasure there. But nobody wanna take me there. Heh don’t mind at all. I’m quite busy lately for my studies. It half of the semester already, but I didn’t make any preparation for the examination soon. As my colleague said, it’s too early to think about exam.

Early in this morning, I received a message from my cousin asking me about the means of mending a broken heart. Again, people thought that I am good enough in any matter relating to love. Huaarrgghh.. I’m tired enough to think about love. In a simple word, what can I say is, let bygone be bygone. But it is not as easy as our heart bleed inside. Our past is a good teacher! People who made mistakes are better than people who didn’t know anything. Am I right? Letting go for person you love does not mean you are pitiless. What past is past, we need to move on to see the future.

At the moment you feel like you could fall no lower and could not feel any worse. You feel as though your life is over. But is it really? Are you really going to feel like this forever? Getting over a break up is always going to be hard but to put you on the right track there are some little words that can lift your spirit and push you in the right direction. Wherever you hear them, those few little words, can often make you smile again.

What I thought here is based on the fact that I have gone through all this while. I have been in love for the past 8 month. It is good enough to love someone when you think he/she give you so much courage. But, for the things people frequently overlook is when you are given too much hope. Remember that people change over times. You might say you wanna live with him/her till you die (it’s a common mania), but, don’t you think how about your partner’s mind? Will he/she do the same thing? Will he/she sacrifice for the betterment of 2 hearts? Will you be able to read your partner’s mind?

As time goes by, life goes on, and all you can think of is why you are gone. You may regret the way your relationship ended, but you will never regret for what you have now. As I mentioned before, I also have go through the break up before. I suffered too much even until now I still pretending that I am okay with that, but my bleeding heart slowly crying when I remember about my ex. What can I do is just keep crying as much as I can. Who cares when we are in gloomy circumstances?

People say past is past. We need to move on. But how can we move on when our past is the only thing we ever wanted in the future and it keeps haunting us? I still remember for the reason my ex told me to end the relationship between us, is just “I love you enough to let you go”. Hah, can you see how people become heartless. It is painful enough for me to accept the silly excuse. As Malay proverb, “Habis Madu Sepah Dibuang”.

What can we do? Chase your ex back? If I given a chance, I will go for that!!! Be with my ex again. Even till now I put so much hope that my ex will come back to me. Every time when I think about my ex, I will keep in mind for the memories that we have all these while. Loving someone is not fault, as long as you know how to make them feel the love you give, its all about you and your heart.

Jika kamu memancing ikan
Setelah ikan itu terlekat di mata kail
Hendaklah kamu mengambil ikan itu
Janganlah sesekali kamu LEPASKAN ia semula kedalam air begitu sahaja
Kerana ia akan SAKIT oleh kerana bisanya
Ketajaman mata kail kamu & mungkin ia akan MENDERITA selagi ia masih hidup

Begitulah juga...

Setelah kamu memberi banyak PENGHARAPAN kepada seseorang
Setelah ia mulai MENYAYANGI kamu
Hendaklah kamu MENJAGA hatinya
Janganlah sesekali kamu terus MENINGGALKANNYA begitu saja
Kerana dia akan TERLUKA oleh kenangan bersamamu
dan mungkin TIDAK dapat MELUPAKAN segalanya selagi dia masih mengingati kamu

begitu juga...

Jika kamu MENADAH air biarlah berpada
Jangan terlalu berharap pada takungannya dan menganggap ia begitu teguh
Cukuplah sekadar untuk KEPERLUANMU sahaja
Kerana apabila ia mulai RETAK

tidak sukar untuk kamu menampal dan memperbaikinya semula
Dan bukannya terus dibuang begitu sahaja

huaa...i need my "someone" :-(