Friday, January 29, 2010

This is my personality. I try to understand it deeply.

personality = relatively stable patterns of behaviour and consistents internal state that explain a person behavioral tendencies.

Suka sembang.
Suka orang yang sayang padanya.
Suka ambil jalan tengah Sangat menawan & sopan santun.
Kecantikan luar & dalam Tidak pandai berbohong dan Tidak pandai berpura-pura.
Mudah rasa simpati, baik dan pentingkan kawan. Sentiasa berkawan.

Hatinya mudah terusik tetapi merajuknya tak lama. Cepat marah.

Macam pentingkan diri sendiri.
Tidak menolong orang kecuali diminta.
Suka melihat dari perspektifnya sendiri.
Tidak suka terima pandangan orang lain.

Emosi yang mudah terusik

Suka berangan & pandai bercakap.
Emosi yang kelam kabut Daya firasat yang sangat kuat.
Suka melancong, bidang sastera & seni Pengasih, penyayang.
Romantik dalam percintaan.

Mudah terusik hati & cemburu.

Ambil berat tentang orang lain.
Suka kegiatan luar Orang yang adil.
Boros & mudah dipengaruhi persekitaran Mudah patah semangat.


Cognitive Disonance

Today such a murky day. I don’t know why suddenly it turned out to be bad. I’m sitting alone in my lovely room and listen to Celine Deon’s song, Because You Love Me. It comes to my mind something that I never thought. I do realize that peoples around me are really cares about me. At this moment, so much things mingling in my mind, I hate this kind of feeling because it will switch my emotion. Like what happened this morning, I kept myself isolated with my own world, doing my own job, take away my mouth, ignored what people talk to me and give them no responds. Sorry people, I don’t have any intention to do these weird things. I don’t know what happen to me, maybe I miss someone who already gone, it’s my late grandma. I miss her so much. Dear God, do bless her. It’s already 4 years since she past away.

I’m very sure what happened this morning affected other’s feeling and heart. People very curious on what happened to me, here I would like to make an apology to whom it may concerned. Do forgive me for things done, it’s out of my intention to do so. I’m not going to be mean. A million thanks to Tini for your cares. Wani for giving me a wish card, it so sweet. Thank to Fizanur for the song given, Kau Ada Dia by The Lima and Dilema Cinta by Ungu. And not forgotten to all my pals, Ika, Aiman, Ikin, Rose, Bella and Kuza. And a special thank to En Suhaimi A. Samad for the advices given regarding my study.

At this moment, I am so confuse about my self. I am ordinary people, sometime we unable to control our emotion, which was happened to me today. My feeling is fluctuating right now, I don’t know how to manage it to be better. Why I have to turn it to be more complicated? I don’t know. Why I have to be cheerless today? I don’t know. Why must I hurt other’s feeling? I don’t know. Why should I ruin my day? I don’t know.

Are these the reasons why people ignore me? I think so. it’s all about me myself and I because I don’t know how to appreciate peoples around me. God love me also because He sent others to take a good care of me. I should be thankful all the times.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Lebih Dari Kata-kata

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real

Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words
Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand
All you have to do is close your eyes
And just reach out your hands and touch me
Hold me close don't ever let me go
More than words is all I ever needed you to show
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cos I'd already know
What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say if I took those words away
Then you couldn't make things new
Just by saying I love you
More than words

Thursday, January 21, 2010


life as a student is not as easy as people judged

it's just like a simple rotation?

wake up early for every morning,

go to the classes

having lunch with friends,

continue lectures

end of classes for every single day,

do some works and tasks given at night,

make a revision

getting sleepy again

go to sleep.

then rotate the same things for the next day...

huh bosan...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Where is the love?

what, where, when, who and how?


what love is about?

could you make me understand?

At the moment

feel so lonely..

i know you are there,

waiting for me...

you love me..

but i could not feel it..

because...you treat me just like nothing...

so sad...

just like a butterfly want to fly..

it's me...

p/s: i need your heart..your love...

Monday, January 11, 2010


For these couple weeks,
it just like hell..

at the beginning, i thought it was like a normal headache..
sometime it dizzy..

so,for the solution, i just took the medicine
plus with Paracetamol and others

I just arrived in Malacca Central from Puduraya, around 2.30PM
its only took around two hours from KL

upon reaching Melacca Bus Station,
I got headache again

I hope it will be ok as soon as possible,
but it doesn't work

I'm standing in front of McD, near from the place where the bus dropped the passengers.

I'm staring at the sky, i thought it could reduce the pain.
huaa..it just like wasting my time..

then I took the bus heading to campus..
I'm not going to class, but i went to the clinic

the doctor said:

" don't stress too much, it will be worst in present, if u failed to manage your stress, then you will find it more harder and worst"

Ya Allah..maybe this is the revenge for my mistakes...

Do Forgive me..

I have been given a half day MC plus with Pain Killer and others medicine..

before ending the chapter for today,i do realize something..


It is His command...

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

tunjukkan aku

Musik dari jiwa
Lagu dari hati
Cerita sepurnama
Canda dan menangis

Belum ku selami
Caturan terjadi
Lelah dipukul badai
Apa mungkin terlerai?


Soalan tersendu
Balas hampa bisu
Tuhan, tunjuk sesuatu
Apa dia yang satu itu?

Tunjukkan aku
Tunjukkan aku

Apa bisa ku cinta
Kamu seperti mana
Aku dicinta kamu?
Aku dijaga kamu?
Atau kamu terlalu
Indah buat diriku?
Beda dari diriku?
Aku pun tak menahu

Aku pun tak menahu
Aku pun tak menahu

Apa bisa ku cinta?
Apa bisa ku cinta?
Apa bisa ku cinta?

Tuhan, tunjukkan aku...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Human and attitude

Where the attitudes actually come from?
Suddenly I remember those philosophies that I have learned before.
It’s all about human attitude

The norms, routine that we are practicing daily is the source of our attitudes
From the attitude, then it will lead to our actions as an outcome


In a simple word,
Our action is actually depends on what we have learned and practiced before.
I do realize that my attitude is worst
I have to admit this

Upon reaching the second stage of life cycle,
I could see that my attitude always brought me to the dark side of my life.
Maybe it happened just because of my past experienced

I have been grown in incomplete family
Whatever happens to me, I have to face it alone
From the age of 9 days, I have been adopted by others and live with them.

Till the age of 18 years old, I have to leave this family since my adopted mother passed away in December 2006 and back to my biological family.
At that time, I feel so lonely.

Nobody cares about me.

For time being, I will try my best to change my attitude
When I have a problem, even a tiny problem, I could not manage myself to think wisely
Then I’ll leave it to others
As a result, people lost trust on me, it become worst when they refuse to forgive me.

It regularly happen to me
I’m damn stupid.

Why I never appreciate those people who are always be with me all the times?

Yea, it’s my bad attitude

I randomly asked my friends about my stance
Most of them say the same thing
One thing I have to change about myself is my attitude.

2010, I will not TRY to change my attitude,
But, I will make sure it’s totally change!!!

And it will be!!!

I will appreciate those people around me
I will manage myself to think wisely when the problem comes
I promise!!!

I made mistakes
And I have learned so much from that
Thank friends, because always be with me

A million thanks to Apai, Daus, Tini, Fiza for the advice given and for the friendship.

I really appreciate it

And billion thanks to my “someone” because you teach me on how to be strong

You are my inspiration.