The.Best.Of.Yau

What a tired day...

Presentation for Local Government assignment for TWO hours non stop!

keep arguing with the impatient audience

number of student in class is about 30++

Only two persons did not asked me any question.

but the rest such make a try on me

Same goes to DR. Hardev who asked me with lot of questions

but i answered them easily.

-silent doesn't mean nothing-

saya sungguh lapar dan saya ingatkan saya punya rezeki, akan tetapi kuih dibeli jatuh ketanah, air diminum pon terjatuh jugak.

bawak motor fikiran melayang sampai nak kemalagan dengan sebuah mercedes punya kereta.

malas nak mencari makanan lagi, saya pulang rumah.

For You,..

mon nom est Firdaus, je veux juste vous dire que je t'aime tellement. rien ne va changer mon amour pour toi. désolé si je ne peux pas oublier que vous "KAR" ... Je m'ennuie de toi, non seulement aujourd'hui mais pour toujours ...

mood= adore dia

One day..
u will ask me..
what is the most important thing in my life..??
U or MY LIFE..??

When i say MY LIFE..
u will walk away..
without knowing that..

U are MY LIFE..

YoU mAkE Me FeEl AliVe!!!

1- Everyone told me weekend is a day for date

but not for me!! dunno why..

2- Stay up till late night for super saver!

What The F***! my cell phone doesn't ringing at all. Others are busy with their own life.

3- Waiting for lover to pick you up then go to cinema

Hurm...i miss that moment!

4- Hang out with friends, chill your day. forget about study for a while

is it true? how if everyone going home? i just alone here. nobody's home la dude.! being bored!

5- Go to somewhere that pleased you

Owh, the beach? almost being there...nobody knew..

6- Come on la dear, text your lover

7- Hah, window shopping? "cuci mata"? looking for partner?

OMG! its not me!

hmm, dunno what to say... better take a bath for hours then go to bed. sleep the whole day...

YES!!! I will..

THANKS FOR THE IDEA...

Saya...Sepi Sekali...Tanpa Dia Di Sisi..Rindu...Sangat...

I count the hours,
I count the days.
How much I miss you,
I count the ways.

I miss your voice,
I miss your touch.
And I miss the face,
That I love so much.

How to describe it,
There is now way.
I walk around,
In a permanent daze.

I long to feel,
Your warm embrace.
And to see a smile,
Upon your face.

I miss you so much,
To the moon and the stars.
And this feeling will go on
Until you're safe in my arms.


That I had the courage to tell you,
How much I feel inside.
MY LOVE FOR YOU WILL NEVER DIE. 
This is to that special someone.
I Love You.

Through the darkness
I can see your light
And you will always shine
And I can feel your heart in mine
Your face I've memorized
I idolize just you.

In this cruel and lonely world
I found one true love
My dear love, I found you!

I just want to tell you,
I think of you every moment of the day.
And how much I love you,
Words could never even say.


I just want to tell you,
I love you with all my heart.
I wish for us to be together,
Never shall we be apart.

I'll wait till I can get u back
and we'll live together till the end of our life.


I love you not today
nor tomorrow, but forever!

i miss you!
yes, you!!


-yang setia menanti dirimu-

walau seribu tahun, akan tetap ku nanti hingga ke akhirnya...
kerana, cintamu yang aku nantikan walau aku hanya boneka yang tidak bernyawa...

Aku masih di sini kekasih

Telah lama ku simpan segalanya

Janji yang tak pernah tunaikan

Tapi aku masih setia menanti

Cinta ku masih lagi di sini

Masih berbunga menantikanmu

Walaupun harumnya hampir hilang

Tapi ku tetap pencinta yang setia

Dan Aku masih lagi di sini sayang

Masih setia menanti dirimu

Kerna kita pernah sayang menyayang

Ku harap cinta mu tak akan pudar

Dan ku masih menanti dirimu

Masih segar menanti segalanya

Jangan kau ucapkan selamat tinggal

Akan hancur hati ku kerna kamu

Aku masih di sini sayangku

Walaupun kau hilang kian lama

Telah cintaku jadi begini

Betapa aku pencinta yang setia

Dengarkan kasih

Lagu ku ini

Kerna diriku

Pencintamu

Nama saya Firdaus. dan saya juga mempunyai seorang sahabat yang bernama Firdaus. yang membezakan kami adalah dari segi BIN. malah, umur kami juga di tahap yang sama. kami banyak berkongsi persamaan dari pelbagai sudut. persahabatan kami hampir menjangkau empat tahun. ya, empat tahun! lama bukan?

Kami banyak berkongsi persamaan. bukan dari sekadar nama, malah dari pelbagai sifat. dia seorang yang kuat cemburu apabila kekasihnya berdampingan dengan orang lain. begitu juga dengan saya. kadang kala cemburu tidak bermaksud tidak meletakkan kepercayaan kepada seseorang, tetapi ia lebih bersifat cemburu kerana sayang. takut akan kehilangan.

Dia juga seorang yang terlalu analitikal dalam perhubungan. begitu juga dengan saya. kalau boleh, setiap apa yang berlaku dalam perhubungan percintaan, seboleh-bolehnya perlulah diberitahu supaya hati tidak berasa gundah gulana.

selain itu, dia juga suka memberikan kekasih hatinya pemberian berbentuk hadiah. saya pun begitu. kalau boleh setiap masa nak diberikan sesuatu kerana ia membuatkan kami rasa bahagia apabila orang yang disayangi menerimanya dengan hati yang terbuka.

dia juga bersifat terlalu setia dalam hubungan percintaan. sepanjang saya mengenali dia, apabila dia sudah jatuh cinta kepada seseorang, maka dia akan menutup pandangannya kepada orang lain. maka tidak hairanlah mengapa saya pun begitu.

Firdaus Hamzah juga adalah seorang pendengar yang baik. apabila terdapat permasalahan yang berlaku dalam percintaan, maka, orang pertama yang saya akan cari adalah dia. begitu juga dengan saya, apabila saya dirundum masalah tentang percintaan, maka dia akan sedaya upaya membantu saya untuk menyelesaikannya. saya sangat terharu apabila dia menitiskan air mata melihat keadaan saya yang terlalu dihimpit kesulitan tempoh hari.

Dia juga seorang yang penyanyang. dia pernah berkata bahawa dia akan menjaga kekasih hatinya sehingga ke hari tua. dan sebenarnya, saya juga begitu, kerana saya akan pastikan saya juga akan menjaga kekasih hati hingga ke akhir hayat. begitu tinggi impian kami bukan?

Apabila kami berasa bosan, maka kami akan mencari suatu sudut untuk berdansa. pelbagai jenis lagu yang kami dah bawa. Dari irama tradisional hinggalah ke tarian moden. Dia sangat hebat menari, tapi saya hanya sekadar mengikut pergerakkannya. asal nampak ada gaya, jadilah.
Dia meminati ilmu perundangan, begitu juga dengan saya, tapi nasib tidak menyebelahi saya. kini saya dan beliau di tahun yang sama dan belajar di Universiti yang sama tetapi berlainan Kampus.

Selain itu, percintaan dia dan kekasihnya, dan juga saya dan kekasih saya, telah ditabalkan dalam kategori "Percintaan Jarak Jauh". terlalu banyak dugaan yang dilalui. tapi, berbekalkan hati yang tabah, maka sehingga ke hari ini kami masih mengekalkan perhubungan masing2. Melaka dan Kuala Lumpur yang dipisahkan oleh Negeri Sembilan. berbekalkan semangat yang kuat, kami telah diuji oleh pelbagai dugaan, walau seperit manapun, kami masih berjaya mengharunginya dan mengekalkan perhubungan masing2. harap2nya sampai bila2 pun kekal.

bukan sekadar ini sahaja persamaan diantara kami berdua. masih banyak lagi, dan kerana itulah kami telah menjadi sahabat yang baik. terdapat juga beberapa perbezaan diantara kami. saya adalah seorang yang jenis mendesak, tetapi dia lebih bersifat cool. saya terlalu gopoh bertindak, dia banyak berfikir dahulu.

perlukah ditukar segala perbezaan itu? pastinya tidak! kerana Bukan diri sendirilah namanya. akan tetapi, setiap masa saya dapat merasakan yang saya semakin matang dalam perhubungan, percintaan dan mengubah sedikit demi sedikit sifat2 yang kurang enak dalam diri saya. berubah untuk kebaikkan dalam percintaan tidak salah bukan?

Dan yang paling penting sekali, kami berdua sangat bahagia buat masa ini disamping orang tersayang. harap2nya berkekalan...

Firdaus Hamzah, Dialah Sahabat baik saya...

Nothing can describe about my feelings at this exact moment

I am so so so happy today because...

I CAN SEE THE STAR SHINE BACK AT THE SKY...!!!

Thanks God!!!

Really appreciate it!!!!

now i can live with a BIGGErRrrrRRR SMILE!!!

:-)

I am so Happy!!!

I don't know where my spirit has gone. I found myself in the dark side, things happened brought me to the endless thought. being benevolent to others sometimes bring us to the undesirable outcome. for every time, seeking the happiness and good ends, but it never be.

I am almost 22 years old. I never found the right meaning of happiness in world of mine. I still remember those previous years, when i was sitting next to my late grandma. she's died on December 2006. actually she's not my biological grandma, but she's only adopted mum and i called her as "mak", she told me something that still reminds me about this life, "if you got hurt, pain, and sadness, you have to remember that i will still with you even till one day you are no longer see me in front of your eyes". suddenly I'm crying... because when i miss her, i w ill hug her, kiss her.
yeah, I am so sad right now.

I live on hope. till this right moment, i still looking for happiness, but it doesn't come yet. I'm dying! yes, I'm dying... mum, i really miss you, i miss your kiss and hug. only you know the depth of my heart. you always be with me when i was sad, but now, i have no one to share my pain, sadness and happiness. God, do bless her.!

today is my mother's birthday. now she's 59 years old. i got another 1 year to finish my study. i hope that God give me chances to take care of her or at least i can "repay" her for every efforts to give me a good life. I try to reach her, i called her for every times, but i couldn't reach till i wrote this entry. we got fight yesterday. i don't mean to hurt her, but she just can't understand my situation of being alone here. I am so stress, i asked her what if i take a leave for maybe one week because i need rest. then she answered me harshly, i shouldn't do it.!
I am not in good condition right now, my emotion is still fluctuating. i am under pressure right now. i couldn't think wisely. anyway, ma happy birthday. sorry for hurting you...

when i miss someone, my body will shake spontaneously. i don't know why. i still remember when my late grandma gone. I was like a crazy people who crying almost for a month. and now, it happened again. but nobody couldn't see it.

i have to admit that, at this exact moment, i miss someone. my body is shaking right now. i really need to see you. then it should be ok. i really need to see you! i miss being with you, miss being close to you. sorry if i was being a pusher seeking for your attention and loves.

I miss the old us...

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do.

-David Wilkerson-

For every seconds, i will look up to the sky

I wish the star could shine again...

Everynight I pray, I’ll have you here someday. I’ll count the stars tonight, and hope with all my might,That when I close my eyes, you’ll be right by my side.

I live on hope and that I think do all who come into this world

because

“Meeting you was fate, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

Dikala aku dalam kebuntuan malam,
menjalani hari2 ku yang kelam,
dikala resah duka nestapa mendatang,
melalui hari2 yang agak suram,
melayari bahtera yang kian tenggelam,
menghemburkan segala kepahitan,
dikala kasih dan sayang yang berlalu pergi,
membuatkan aku terus tidak berdaya berdiri dengan sendirinya
perasaan yang rupanya sudah lama pudar,
akan tetapi ia tetap bernyawa walau hanya dengan angin yang berlalu pergi,
coretan segala rasa,
punah segala harapan yang tinggi menggunung,
aliran yang dahulu deras akan tetapi disekat oleh anasir ketidakpastian
keghairahan mencari arti cinta suci,
beraraknya awan2 kepiluan dalam hati,
mencari arti kehidupan yang hakiki,
akan tetapi, ditikam oleh kata2 yang halus dari seninya,
sakitnya tiada derita,
matinya tiada kuburnya,
tangisan tanpa air matanya,
bayang2 yang tiada rupanya.
terkaku aku dibuai mimpi indah semalam,
jahilnya diri mengorak batinnya cinta
pertemuan yang hanya seketika,
kasih yang tiada noktahnya.
baiknya hanya seketika,
dikala hitamnya tersimpan segala duka,
dikala jasadku terpaku oleh tohmahan kata2 cinta.
rupa2nya, aku dibuai mimpi yang hanya sekadar fantasi...

maka sahabat yang baik pula datang dan menggenggam tangan ini agar aku tidak terus terjatuh...

thanks to Firdaus Hamzah for lend me your shoulder to cry on.
thank pal!! really appreciate it.
I'm dying...
I'm lost...
I' have nothing at all now
Only breath for the last chance on the air...

Dygta-Kerna Ku Sayang Kamu

Dygta-Maafkan Aku
Faizal Tahir- Sampai Syurga
Kris Dayanti- Menghitung Hari
Ungu- Dilema Cinta
Ahli Fiqir- Derita Merindu
Aiman- Cinta Terakhir
Agnes Monica- Tanpa Kekasihku
Slam- Kembali Terjalin
Vince-Andai Kau Mengerti
Celine Dion- Because you love me
Enrique Iglesias- Hero
Yuna-Cinta Sempurna
V.E- Kerna sayang
ST12- Jangan Pernah Berubah
Seconhand Serenade- YOUR CALL
Rossa Ft Ungu- Terlanjur Cinta
Azfar-Akan Ku jumpa
The Climb- Miley yrus
Boneka-Tunjukkan Aku
Shayne Ward-No promises
Hattan-Dari Kekasih Kepada Kekasih
Ibnor Reza- Mimpi Yang Tak Sudah
Lefthanded- KU DIHALAMAN RINDU
Marc Anthony- My Baby You
Aril- Menatap Matamu
T.I ft Justin Timberlake- Dead And Gone
Samsons - Kenangan Terindah
Ungu - Tercipta Untukku
Hazami - Mungkir Bahagia
Peter Pan - Semua Tentang Kita
Ruth Sahanaya -Kaulah Segalanya
Amy Search - Tiada Lagi
Samsons - Luluh
Peter Pan - Mungkin Nanti
Acha - Sampai menutup Mata

I just can't describe how my feelings right now
all these song might throw out what i thought in my mind.
how i gonna go through it? just let the time to fix it.
ain't my love is everything?
waiting is bitter than nothing
I'm waiting till the moments come true.

it hurt enough, its killing me.
but I'm pretty sure that it will turn out to be damnly sweet for us soon,
Don't let me waiting too long,
i just can't breath without your spirit, your soul.
May the love hidden deep inside your heart find the love waiting in my dreams

for me, there is always some madness in love. but there is also always some reason in madness. because the course of TRUE LOVE never did run smooth.
I'm waiting till the ring makes me live again...

Berikan aku sebutir BINTANG yang dahulu menerangi hidup ini...

I miss My diploma mates

Dipac Sports day. High Committee

Dipac Dinner. Nyte of star...

Final sweet moment in Diploma. Pulau Langkawi. maybe i will go there for the second time?? hope so...

Academic Camp. I was the organizer as well as the Project leader

My group Assignment members, always last minute performance

everywhere we go, there must be a long happiness

With close friends, Adila, Sumay and Tyra aka Gadis Pulau

calling from Pengarah for the reason fighting with lecturer
how bad am I!!

Puaskah kau lukaiku
Puaskah kau sakitiku
Puaskah khianatiku
Puaskah hoo.. Sayangku

Di manakah nuranimu
Di mana akal sehatmu
Sekarang kau campakanku
Setelah kau dapatkanku

Mungkin hanya bila ku mati
Kau ‘kan berhenti ‘tuk menyakiti
Sampai kapan aku begini
Terus begini
Terus engkau lukai

Ingatlah saat yang lalu
Saat kau peluk diriku
Tapi kini semua lalu
Kau tega khianatiku

Im sitting here
Thinking bout
How im gon-na do without
You around in my life and how am I
I gon' get by
I ain't got no days
Just lonely nights
You want the truth
Well im not alright
Feel out of place and out of time
I think im gonna lose my mind

So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time)
So let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that i will never love again

I miss your face
I miss your kiss
I even miss the arguments
That we would have from time to time
I miss you standing by my side
I'm dying here its clear to see
There ain't no you, God knows there ain't no me
Don't wanna live, I wanna die
If I cant have you in my life

So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night (like i dream of you all the time, so lonely)
Oh let me tell you how it feels (its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real (when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again

Bangun tido terus tersenyum.
mimpi indah katenye.
bukan mimpi basah.

terbangun dari lena, dia depan mata,
masa tu kami duduk serumah dah, dah kawin masa tuh
dia mandikan saya, die ucap "i love you sayang"
dia kucup dahi saya,
saya cium tangan dia, dia kasi lagi satu ciuman di dahi
dia ukir senyuman yang manis untuk saya,
dia marah saya bila saya x ingat kat dia.
dia kata jangan balik lambat2, dia rindu.
dia kata kene selalu call dia, takot2 dia rindu nak dengar suara saya.
bila balik dia masak untuk saya,sebab dia andai masak
nak tidur dia akan peluk saya erat
tengah2 malam dia akan bangun untuk bagi saya ciuman sekali lagi...

macam2 lagi yang berlaku dalam mimpi tuh..
sebab tu lately saya tido lama2,
lebih kurang dekat 10 jam sehari.
separuh waktu siang, separuh lagi sebelah malam.
dah 4 hari mimpi yang sama.
dari hari jumaat (5 march) aritu sampai la hari ni (8 march).
terbangun je dari mimpi tadi, terus saya bukak lappy untuk sampaikan pada dunia
betapa saya sangat gembira berjumpa dengannya dalam mimpi tadi.

asal bangun je akan tersenyum.
nak tido pon akan tersenyum.
sebab dalam mimpi je dapat jumpa.

kalo boleh xnak bangun2 da, boleh dak?
nak tido lama2, dapat jumpa slalu.
dapt rasakan kehadirannya depan mata.

benar rupanya, aku hanya bermimpi.
uhh mimpi, alangkah indahnya jika itu sebuah kenyataan dalam hidupku...
mungkin suatu hari nanti...

kilauan yang aku ada kini sudah semakin malap.
dimana hilangnya sinar itu?
kerana adanya awan ego yang menebal.
aku tak pasti mengapa...

What a tired day!
Does "Program Pembanggunan dan Kepimpinan Pelajar" (PPKP) give benefit to students?
I don't think so...
The module is such useless!
Students are required to attend this program because to fulfill the requirement of the faculty, They are not come because of the benefits that they might gain from it.

Sit in a group, then discuss about the topics given.
They just do it but they don't even know what are their purposes actually.

For me, i just go through on it as a matter of fulfilling my leisure time.
uh it drained enough!
Just wasting my weekend time! supposed i can get sleep longer as my weekdays are too busy with classes schedule.

Ok, just forget about students argument on this program...

I was appointed as a representative for Vodoo group,
I have to explain what is meant by Vodoo.
My answer is simple,
Ends justify mean.

And i have given an opportunity to share my experience about love.
Huh, it such a complicated part for me.
In a simple word, i just came out with the story of "schoolboy and a grass"
(like someone told me and make me realize about APPRECIATION)

Everybody pay their attention till i finished my story,
Then the classes so excited to know what is the ending of the story...
I don't give them the answer.
I asked them to think deeply in their heart what actually the meaning of love.

At the end of the class, i told them that we have to appreciate what we have now rather than we looking for something that we unable to get it.
There a lot of chances in our life. what we have to do is "be thankful" and value things as it won't come again.

The moral of the story:

To achieve the prosperity in or life,we have to understand our needs.

Give an effort on it,

Appreciate people who love us than anyone else don't do,

Being honest, loyal, understanding, freedom.

Do not HURT others

Give all your commitments only for one!

Tell him/her how they are valuable for you (do it as it comes from your heart, not your mouth!)

THEN YOU WILL GET THE ANSWER OF TRUE LOVE...

I couldn't find the reasons why i am so obsessed with the lyric of this song...

Need You Now by Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor
Reaching for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door
Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind
For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now
Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now

Woah, woah
Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now
And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now
And I don't know how I can do without
I just need you now, I just need you now

Oh baby, I NEED YOU NOW...

***************************************

aku lah bintang yg hilang ditelan kegelapan
aku hanya bisa mencoba bersabar...

***************************************

Wahai anak muda, jika engkau tidak sanggup menahan lelahnya belajar, engkau harus menanggung pahitnya kebodohan.

- Pythagoras -

Today is a submission day for the Multimedia (CSC) project which consist of 15% course mark. I'm so busy lately due to many things to be done. So, i just follow the flow even things does not take place accordingly as i wished. aha, it doesn't matter. i have came out with a very nice cover album, as my lecturer approved it easily.

The title for this album is "Persembahan Jiwa"

I asked everyone which one is the most nice

here are the results:

Huh i just can't believe it, i can do it even i'm so silly in using Photoshop software. when i present this album to my friends, they told me it is not nice, my lecturer told me the same thing. huh so F**k up with that.

Ok this is the second album created as my alternative. My lecturer told me it was nice, but there are some elements that i have to add up. Yeah i know it is nice, but due to my laziness, i have no choice, i have to work it out. but my lappy just like moron! problems occurred at all times. so, i just do nothing.

This is the last album, everyone told me that this is the most nice and creative album as compared to both above. my lecturer told me, " I think you should proceed with this album, no need to make an alteration anymore. this one should be nice. just make it as hard copy then you may submit to me".

Here I would like to thanks to all friends who help me in completing this album. A million thanks to En. Kam for lending me your hand in making this very nice cover album. really appreciate it!! May Allah bless you...

Feel so ashamed when all the classmates kept talking about me and DIJA

( even though i do like it, haha)

Ok, let me tell you what actually happened today

When i was in the Multimedia Class (CSC), felt a bit tired due to inadequate rest and sleep because i was studied till late night yesterday. while waiting for the five minutes break, i sang a song from Faizal Tahir which title COBA. I did not realize that my volume is too high till the lecturer can hear that. Then, suddenly Miss Fadhlina (sweet lecturer) asked to the class who actually singing at that moment. friends next to mine tell her it was me.

Then she said, nape yau? ngah bercinta ke?

Others just lough.followed by Tini, she said that i dedicated the song to DIJA. uhh, i'm blushing! then, Miss keep asking to the class, which one is DIJA, all the eyes turned to her.

Wani said, tu miss... yang pakai baju biru, tudung hitam.

Miss: Oo patot la..xpe2, biarkan dorang..
bercinta, bercinta jugak, jangan dok khayal je yau.!!

uhh, setepek lagi aku kene. makin malu...

then the lecture begin as usual

Aha, I would like to make a confession here, before the gossip spread out and be more critical. nothing happened between us actually. Just because of ONE word (cantik), people thought that i do like her. hmm... entah, seronok jugak kene gossip ni sebab DIJA pon jenis melayan...
aha what a sweet day...

Khadijah Khairudin

I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than attempting to satisfy them.

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.

Happiness is not a matter of events, it depends upon the tides of the mind.

Commitment leads to action. Action brings your dream closer.

Happiness depends upon ourselves.

Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

ONE THING IS HAPPINESS TO ME IS YOU...

Right now, i already came to the conclusion of something. I made this decision even it's so hard for me to live on it. things done doesn't give me the right definition of what i thought. as time goes by, i just can't understand myself. i can't find the correct word to tell my feelings at this exact moments. lot of things happened. there must be a reason for it, and yes, i am frustrated, and miserable, and one million percent unhappy.

I'm not expect people come to me and understands my emotions as right now. Am i too exaggerate? yeah, because i can't figure it out. why i made this decision? because i DAMNLY hate myself. i hate my feeling, i hate my emotions, i hate the way i think on something and the most hatred is when i just can't realize the way i are. being unethical was a reason i came to this decision. I'm so tired of being ME.! It doesn't means that i wanna be other in myself, but, what i gonna do is to keep myself from other's life.

i'm so fed up with myself. Why should i do this? because, i just an ordinary people. i can't cope with everything that happened. there are voice keep asking me to hold on it.

i wish that i will never me

i feel so blurry right now. I don't even know who i am

after all, the pain inside will never be cured as it leave me the right sign of being stubborn

I'm decided!!

Yes, I am...

I'm so tired of demanding to others , and now, it come to the end of everything

I will not do it anymore

not going to seek something that will never be

whatever it is, there is something people should know about me, about my principle(maybe)

"for you, i bleed myself dry"

Terasa seperti ingin melakukannya...
Mungkin satu hari nanti...
sikit lagi...

Ada satu perkara yang saya telah nekad untuk mengubahnya...
sekali saya melangkah kearahnya, pasti tidak akan berpatah semula.
saya yakin!!! Jangan ditanya mengapa jika itu yang dipinta
walaupun sakit saya terima...

Mood: Jiwa Kosong

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

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“Meeting you was fate, but falling in love with you I had no control over.”

Friday, March 12, 2010

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