I AM STRONG ENOUGH

BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T CRY AT ALL

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Future Is Not Written In The Sky...

I went to Kg Baru just now. I wish I could have some Nasi lemak there. but, just because of the environment made me feel uneasy and wanna vomit, i decided not to eat there. what? am i prego? hish.. totally wrong! okay, at first i thought i need some new things which could help me to have an appetite to eat something. when i reached to that annoying "place", (of course you know which place it is to eat Nasi Lemak in Kg. Baru), while i searching the table, i found that there are too much cockroaches which loiter around and people just do nothing for it. yes! they don't do anything even though the cockroaches are around them. hey peeps, do you really know from where it comes? for sure from the dirty places!! i hate cockroach damn much! really hate it!

and later, i decided to leave and looking for other stall. hmm just forget about that Nasi Lemak and the cockroach. since i have no idea which place should i go, i making my steps to be at Kg Baru LRT Station. still remember the place which i used to steal the happiness in there? ok it doesn't matter, i kept licking my Conneto which i bought from Mamak stall near to that station. then having a leisure moment with my Winston Light while remembering those sweet memories on the previous year.

after around 10 minutes, suddenly a man, not really man, boy i think, came to me and asked me for one buck! without having a question, i just gave him the money, and he thank me like he got a lottery! it is not a big deal for me for only one buck. just a small matter. and he kept smiling with a cute face. after minutes, he asked me for a cigarette. then i gave him one. without hesitate, i asked him questions

where are you staying at?

he answered me, near to this place.

why are you mingle around? don't you worry if your parents looking for you at this time?

no, i don't care at all (he answered me with a resent face)

are you having a problem?

yes i do, but nobody could understand me. why they put so much blames on me? I'm just looking for inner satisfaction. am not a child! i am matured enough! (he just throw some hints about his situation and i try to dive into his emotion)

then what is your problem all about?

okay, i fought with my parents just now, they kept arguing with me about my attitude, they told me that i never serious for any matter relating my future. i feel like I'm a black sheep in my family. i just wasting their money. do they know how about my feeling? why don't they give me space to live on my own feet?

i just listen and let him nauseating everything he has inside. then i asked him again, what do you understand of being matured?

he answered me politely, well, i am 18 already. even though i am jobless, i do not commit any illegal things. i never asked for their money. i don't put so much troubles to them. i only mind my own business. playing games, hanky panky with friends

have you ever experienced losing a person you love, to be specific, family members?

no, never! i still have my parent. i love them much!

how old your parents are?

dad 57 and my mum near to 60.

don't you think this is the high time for you to re-pay their efforts all this while?

he silent.

let say your mum and dad fated to see their God at this moment, and you are unable to make them happy, even for a second, how would you feel?

he silent again

do you love them both?

yes, i do

is this the way you make them happy? the way you show your love to your parents?


he silent again. i feel like wanna slap him once. haha

ok bro, just listen to me. if you love your parents, just respect them the way they are even you have an opposite mentation with them. just listen to what they say. they scold at you just because they love you. no one parents would let their son's life decayed like what happened to most of teenagers nowadays. their life are like nothing and spoiled just because of losing parent's bless.

then what should i do?

what your heart would say is actually what u should do.

both us silent for a minute and later he further the conversation...

actually, am the youngest in family. i have 2 brothers and one sister. both my brothers getting married already and my sister is a single mother. my age compare to them is quite far. i don't feel love from my family because when i got problems, i don't have any place to throw out or to share with. i feel like i'm alone. nobody would listen to me. they ignore me. i am so upset. really upset.

i answered him with a loving way. it simple like this, ignorance is bliss and never take granted on that. some parents found it difficult in showing their love to their children. they love but never revealed. the only way to know either they love you or not is through the way they treat you. as long as they still taking care about you, they love you enough. it is not too late for you to treat them in a good way and ask your parents to listen to your needs and wants. they would understand you better. have it ever crossed on your mind, Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with everything they got. The love of a family is life's greatest blessing and be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. Other things may change us, but we start and end with family.


after about one hour, i decided to leave and i asked him to go back to his home as i leave. he listen to me and gave me a cute smile without a tight face like one hour before. he thank me and asked for my mobile number. i pray to God to ease his day and let him feel the true love of being human because i was in the same shoe like him and i really understand his feeling of being ignorance.

may God bless you then. Amen...






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