I AM STRONG ENOUGH

BUT IT DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T CRY AT ALL

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Yang Sebenarnya Sejarah itu Akan terus Menghantui Kita Kerana ia Telah Tertulis Untuk Menjadi Sebahagian Dari Kita...

28 November 2009
11.55 Pm
Room No. 1
Seat J16, J17
TGV KLCC
Movie: New Moon

i still remember today's happening when it was last year.
it was the begining of being possessed.

sedih!!




Saturday, November 27, 2010

This is The Reason Why It's Difficult to Change...

I was in the middle when i am facing the old folks who always keep talking about money and education. i was flustered to choose either keep on working with studies or looking for any vacancies. I do believe that education never dies and it such a tool to prevent poverty among us, especially among the rural and lower income in the masses. i am strongly agree that the only way which dropped the level of living among our people is because they are lacking of education! I'm not going to be prejudice or stereotype in here, but, this is the fact. for this modern life, the only way to lead yourself to the betterment is by having education.

can you imagine the condition that i was facing yesterday when i was talking to my neighbor (not really neighbor next to my home). he asked me some silly questions, why should i pursuing my studies since i already have my diploma. then i answered him politely and in a simple way. My knowledge is just like a drop of water in a vast sea. then he smile.

after minute, he asked me again. Do you believe by having education will guarantee you to have a good life and work? i answered him again in a professional way, some people say, a good life and work determine by God's fate, and it supported by your efforts. there are people who gained a good education but failed to obtain a good work just because they were lacking of interpersonal skills which differentiate them with others. it depends on how you lead yourself to public. the rest, let's God to decide then.

later, he make a cynical face on me and i wonder something weird. he told me, if his son given chances to pursue his studies in any higher institution, he will not allowed them to do so. huh, what a f*** mindset that he has.? i don't give you a shit! this is what we call an orthodox mindset for some people in this least developing country to become the first world nation! whatever it is, a dirty shoe comes from the dirty place...


Friday, November 26, 2010

Wanita, Lelaki dan ...

kalaulah kita ini dilahrikan sebagai seorang wanita atau nama lainnya homosapien yang berjantina perempuan, mungkin lebih sukar untuk kita memahami apa yang mereka lalui. biarpun dikatakan lelaki itu lebih hebat tanggungjawabnya dari wanita, akan tetapi, wanita itu lebih tampan dari segi hatinya, lebih segak dari tutur bicaranya, dan lebih kacak dari segi tingkah lakunya.

Mana tidaknya, bila kita berbicara soal kehidupan, ada kalanya wanita lebih cenderung untuk lebih memahami isi hati yang lain berbanding lelaki. jika ditanyakan setiap insan, siapakah yang pertama terlintas difikiran jika seseorang itu ditimpa musibah atak kecelakaan? maka ada yang menyatakan mereka terjurus untuk memilih si Ibu berbanding si bapa. kerana si ibu itu lebih bersifat penyayang walaupun si bapa berbuat yang sedemikian rupa.

dalam soal cinta pula, siapa yang lebih obses untuk saling menyayangi? lelaki atau wanita? walau ada juga kajian yang menyatakan bahawa wanita itu mempunyai kemungkinan yang agak besar untuk melakukan beberapa perkara diluar jangkaan apabila mereka merasa kegagalan sebuah percintaan seperti membunuh diri, itu sudah cukup membuktikan bahawa wanita itu lebih penyayang berbanding orang yang mereka sayang.



jauh sedikit dari soal percintaan, berbalik kepada isu perhubungan. ada yang mengatakan bahawa wanita itu sanggup menggadaikan tubuh bagi meraih kasih sayang dari insan yang mereka cintai, maka tidak hairanlah mengapa berleluasanya hubungan seks luar nikah. dan disini pula, ia sudah jelas menyatakan bahawa si wanita itu mempunyai sifat cinta yang mendalam berbanding lelaki.

Tetapi...


ada juga wanita yang tersembunyi dibalik nama seorang lelaki, dan mereka juga mempunyai sifat seorang yang penyayang, pecinta, dan juga obsesi dengan siapa mereka menyayang. bukan itu kehendak mereka, tapi ia hadir dengan sendirinya. ia adalah sebuah naluri yang azali. hanya mereka yang memahami...




Thursday, November 25, 2010

Adakah Anda Tahu Apa Itu HIV/AIDS?

Hari ni, terpaksa ambil cuti separuh hari gara-gara perlu menjalani rawatan susulan berkaitan dengan sakit tempoh hari. selepas sahaja makan tengahari, terus menaiki bas dan pergi ke Hospital Kuala Lumpur untuk menerima rawatan - pendarahan dalaman akibat jangkitan yang menyebabkan komplikasi pendengaran.


Akibat terlalu lama menunggu, terlintas difikiran untuk melakukan UJIAN DARAH BERKAITAN HIV. ujian tersebut hanya memakan masa tidak sampai setengah jam dimana kaunseling akan diberikan terlebih dahulu sebelum darah di ambil. selepas sahaja mendengar nasihat daripada pembantu perubatan, maka, ujian dilakukan ke peringkat seterusnya. dan beberapa ketika itu, keputusannya sangat menggembirakan hati. saya disahkan NEGATIVE atau nama lainnya BEBAS DARI SEBARANG PENYAKIT BAWAAN SEKS / STD ( SEKS TRANSMITTED DISEASE) mahupun HIV. syukur Alhamdulillah, Allah masih sayangkan aku.


Untuk mereka diluar sana yang mana pernah melakukan hubungan seks samaada anda adalah lelaki/wanita straight, gay, biseksual, pengkid, lesbian atau sebagainya, berwaspadalah...kerana ia mungkin hadir tanpa kita duga...



APAKAH HIV?

Human Immunodeficiency Virus (HIV)

HIV adalah virus yang menyebabkan AIDS. HIV menyerang sistem daya tahan badan*, menyebabkan badan lemah dan tidak berupaya melawan jangkitan penyakit. Jika seseorang disahkan dijangkiti HIV, orang itu dipanggil positif-HIV (HIV+) tetapi tidak semestinya dia menghadapi AIDS.

* Sistem daya tahan badan adalah mekanisma badan yang terdiri daripada sel darah putih. Sel-sel ini menyerang dan membunuh kuman dan virus yang masuk ke dalam badan kita.

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome (AIDS)

AIDS adalah nama yang diberi kepada sekumpulan penyakit yang menjangkiti orang yang HIV+. Ia berlaku apabila sistem daya tahan badan orang tersebut menjadi semakin lemah dan tidak berupaya melawan penyakit.

Bagaimanakah HIV boleh dijangkiti?

HIV hanya boleh dijangkiti melalui cara-cara berikut sahaja:

  1. melalui perhubungan seks tidak selamat (seks tidak selamat adalah seks tanpa menggunakan kondom lateks).
  2. melalui perkongsian jarum suntikan atau picagari.
  3. melalui ibu kepada bayinya semasa kehamilan, kelahiran atau penyusuan.

HIV hanya boleh berjangkit melalui darah, air mazi dan air mani termasuk darah haid. Darah atau cecair-cecair badan boleh memasuki salur darah orang lain melalui luka, kesan lecetan atau kudis. Mereka yang menjaga pesakit-pesakit AIDS dan yang memberi pertolongan cemas patut mengambil langkah berjaga-jaga dengan menggunakan sarung tangan getah semasa melakukan tugas.

Bagaimanakah HIV tidak boleh dijangkiti?

HIV tidak boleh berjangkit melalui air peluh, air kencing atau air mata. HIV tidak boleh berjangkit menerusi kulit yang sihat ataupun melalui udara seperti virus selesema. HIV tidak boleh hidup di luar badan manusia seperti di atas kulit atau pakaian, dalam air atau udara.

HIV tidak boleh dijangkiti melalui

  • Pendermaan darah
  • Berjabat tangan dan berpelukan
  • Berkongsi telefon, kolam renang dan tandas awam
  • Berkongsi makanan dan perkakas dapur
  • Berkongsi tempat tinggal, bekerja bersama, belajar bersama atau berkongsi tempat tidur
  • Bersin, batuk, air peluh atau air kencing
  • Gigitan serangga (termasuk gigitan nyamuk) atau binatang
  • Menjaga seseorang yang positif-HIV

Bagaimanakah caranya untuk mengetahui samada saya telah dijangkiti?

Satu-satunya cara untuk mengetahui samada anda telah dijangkiti adalah dengan menjalani Ujian Antibodi HIV

Apakah tanda-tanda atau simptom-simptom jangkitan HIV?

Permulaan jangkitan HIV biasanya tidak menunjukkan sebarang tanda. Ada jangkitan yang akan menunjukkan simptom yang menyerupai demam selesema tiga sehingga enam minggu selepas jangkitan. tetapi ini berlainan dari seseorang ke seseorang yang lain; orang itu mungkin sembuh dan berkeadaan sihat selama beberapa tahun sehinggalah sistem daya tahan badannya menjadi lemah dan orang tersebut jatuh sakit disebabkan jangkitan penyakit yang berulang-kali. Tanda awal yang serupa juga berlaku semasa jangkitan virus lain. Oleh kerana tanda-tanda ini hilang dengan mudahnya, ramai yang tidak mengendahkannya dan mengaggapnya sebagai penyakit biasa. Jadi, satu-satunya cara untuk mendapat kepastian adalah dengan menjalani Ujian Antibodi HIV terutamanya jika anda rasa anda telah melakukan aktiviti yang berisiko.

SEKS SELAMAT

Apakah seks selamat?

Seks selamat adalah hubungan seks di mana air mazi, air mani atau darah tidak masuk ke dalam badan orang lain.

  • Seks selamat adalah hubungan seks menggunakan kondom lateks dan pelincir berasaskan air seperti gel K-Y.
  • Seks selamat adalah perlakuan seks seperti bersentuhan atau melancap dimana kedua-dua pihak tidak mempunyai luka atau ruam pada tangan mereka.

Cara-cara ini dipanggil "seks selamat" kerana ianya meminimumkan risiko jangkitan, tetapi tidak menghapuskan jangkitan sama sekali. Aktiviti seksual akan sentiasa mempunyai risiko terutama jika salah seorang pasangan adalah positif-HIV. Seks selamat juga boleh mencegah jangkitan penyakit kelamin yang boleh meninggikan risiko jangkitan HIV. Penyakit-penyakit kelamin memudahkan HIV menjangkiti sel-sel badan.

MITOS & BENAR TENTANG SEKS DAN HIV

Yang Benar

  1. Penggunaan kondom dengan betul adalah yang terbaik dalam menghalang jangkitan HIV semasa hubungan seks kerana ia diperbuat dari lateks/getah.
  2. Kondom juga boleh melindungi mulut, faraj, dubur dan zakar dari air mazi, air mani dan darah yang mengandungi HIV serta penyakit-penyakit kelamin lain.
  3. Jangan biarkan alkohol/dadah atau pasangan yang menarik mengalih perhatian anda daripada amalan seks selamat.
  4. Seks selamat adalah salah satu cara untuk menghalang jangkitan HIV.
  5. Anda boleh dijangkiti HIV jika melakukan seks tidak selamat.
  6. Masih tiada penawar untuk HIV/AIDS tetapi terdapat ubat anti HIV dalam pasaran yang boleh memperlahankan kemaraan penyakit ini.
  7. Anda tidak boleh dijangkiti HIV dengan berpelukan, berjabat tangan, bersentuhan, melancap dan berciuman.
Sumber: Majlis AIDS Malaysia

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

A Moment to Remember (Part II)


1 2 3 I Miss You Drink


waiting for skyline movie


advanced Christmas

My Old College when i was in diploma.. its Malinja


Sungai Layar


sunset over the rainbow


the three brothers
::FFF::


Male only



1 happy family



waiting for the Chop


its IPhone!!


we got the same plate number!!




indulge!!


Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Untuk Sang Pecinta, Mereka Yang Merasa Dicinta Mahupun Bersendiri...

Hanyut- Faizal Tahir


Harus bagaimana lagi
Dan terus begini
Dengarkan aku
Lihat ke mataku

Cukup sudah kau menghukum
Salahku tetap salahku
Benarkan ku berbicara
Agar bisa pulih semua

Namun harus sampai bila
Kau kan diam seribu bahasa


Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Fahamilah ku tak mampu terus tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Saat mata terpejam
Hanya kau ku terbayang
Menghapus semua segala rasa di jiwaku

Saat mata terbuka
Kamulah yang pertama
Tak mampu aku
Bayangkan
Hidup tanpa dirimu


Aku memang bersalah
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu
Dan tapi dah ku sedari
Segala perit kau lalui
Ku terlupa kau terluka

Dan memang selalu
Aku bersalah
Selalu saja mengabaikan mu
Meninggalkan mu
Dan tetapi itulah aku sedari
Segala perit yang kau lalui
Kerna diriku yang terus hanyut

Maafkanlah ku tak bisa hidup tanpa kamu
Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila tiada mengganti
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Bagaimana ku nanti
Bila kau tak di sisi
Yang ku ada hanya kamu saja

Monday, November 22, 2010

A Moment To Remember....

last week, me and bff went to kedah for a speacial gathering between us. it was on 18th november. there are too much things shining our journey...

actually, this is our 5th year celebration for our friendship

here are some of the pictures taken...




Renoma model wannabe...apai




Gunung Jerai...






sawah bendang...



with lovely brothers...
dari kiri...adik gangsa, adik perak, adik emas and big brother




having fun at sunway carnival penang.




the theme song for this journey

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Kadang Kala Kita sudah Tidak Mampu Untuk Merayu, Dan Akhirnya Kita TERPAKSA Untuk Memendam Rasa

Kasih maafkan aku
Tiada inginku melukaimu
Dan kini kau tinggalkan aku

Hanya dalam hatiku

Kuungkap semua penyesalanku
Kini kuingin disisimu


Bila kumasih di hatimu

Simpan cintaku
Kembalilah untukku

Kuingin selalu di sisimu

Maafkanlah aku, kasih
...








kalaulah kita mampu untuk memutar masa...
pasti semuanya indah walaupun ia seketika...

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Jangan pernah Mengalah...





today, is the last day in melaka before turning back to my hometown. i should be in KL by yesterday but unable to do so as planned. it just because god fated me to be in kl just only for one day which is on hari Raya and then i'm heading to kedah on the next day after Raya.

yesterday, i was warded in melaka general hospital for half day. at first, i thought it was okay just only to have the medicine i took from UiTM clinic. but suddenly, early predawn, i realize whimsical things happened to my right ears. so, i decided to go to the hospital alone by riding my housemate's motorcycle. when i reached the hospital, they brought me to the emergency and trauma room. at that moment, I keep shouting when the MA did something to my ears. i don't know what kind of treatment they gave me. and later the doctor gave me twice injections and i became sleepy and did not know what actually happened at that time. the injection makes me drowsy. when i open my eyes, its morning already. i don't give any notification to anyone as i thought its only give a burden to them, including my family.

the first person i gave a call was my bestfriend, Firdaus Hamzah. i was crying when i talk to him. i don't have anyone who can really understands my condition at that moment. for current, I'm in the good condition and the pain reduced already. the doc prepared me a reference latter and i need to display it in KL general Hospital as my case had been transferred to the specialist in there. i am currently packaging my stuffs because am going back to Kl by tomorrow evening.

okay just forget about it. i would like to sum up about my journey on this semester. i think, this is the most terrible semester for me as i have gone through it badly.

firstly, i am so surprised during the faculty dinner. i didn't go to the dinner actually, but my friends aka my classmate told me i was nominated in one of the awards given by the faculty. it was, Anugerah Tokoh Ilmiah. it just a nominee, but the award given to my batch mate because her performance was higher than me..suck!

another thing is, this is the last semester for me to have a nice and really precious memories with my housemates. they were already finished their studies and will be going to start their internship program. i am so sad because by next semester i have to live with my junior which i think they are quite childish in term of their behavior, attitude and the way they respects the older. but, it doesn't matter for me because its only for one semester before i am going to complete my degree. yeah!

i was appointed as secretary for the Kempen Keselamatan Jalan Raya in RnR Ayer Keroh which was be held in the mid of the semester. this is the most terrible position since i have involving myself in curricular activities when i was in diploma. i hate it when i have to face with lot of human's behavior. controlling human behavior is difficult rather than controlling my money! hah... i'm done with that!

and for this semester, i got lot of presents from my friends for my birthday! hehe i really enjoy it. my birthday present was rock! i got Forrero roche, Jersey, Mug, wishes card, Watches, Perfume and the best thing is, my roomates was dancing in front of me spontaneously while dedicating the birthday song. thank everyone!

there are too many things which comes to my mind to throw it in here. but, i have no idea what i am going to talk about. later i'll update much more...





and this one im dedicating for someone who really special for me.
if u read this, you have to know something....

sayang kamu! for real!!

with love, Yau...



Monday, November 15, 2010

The Worst I Ever Had (Part II)

15/11/2010
2 :38AM
Melaka General Hospital

I'm warded and need to see the expert at 8am in the morning.
the doc gave me twice injections and makes me feels high.

i wish everything gonna be alright soon.

InsyaAllah...

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The Worst I Ever Had


i have gone through so many unbearable pains lately. it is not easy for me to face all those fucking things happened. i do believe God is testing me right now, but it is too hard even others might not be able to do so.

for current, i have to take the medicine about 20 tablets in a day. its ponstan and antibiotic. what kind of ill it is? it was an internal bleeding caused by the infection in my body. huh, and for now, i couldn't hear any sounds because my right ears was dysfunction. my eyes get blurred and i couldn't see things clearly.

i went to the general hospital yesterday and the MA advised me not to take the examination and gave me a leave about 5 days. i am so sad. i have no one to take care of me in here because my housemates already in their study leave. i was crying when i was in the examination hall today. i can answer all the questions perfectly but I couldn't bear the pain inside. i was crying over and over again until the invigilator asked me to leave the examination hall earlier as i have completed in answering the questions. i know i can perform better than what i have done just now. it just a matter of being patient.

thankfully, i have a very nice and inspires friends who encouraged me to be strong. thank everyone...

"A great person comes with a great responsibility"

"No pain, no gain!"

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Don't Cry Baby..

We make them cry who care for us.

We cry for those who never care for us. And we care for those who will never cry for us.

This is the truth of life, it's strange but true.


Once you realise this, it's never too late to change.

Monday, November 1, 2010

A vampire caused by an examination. Let me lick your blood please...

i woke up late today! slept for almost 12 hours in a day caused me some headache and i figured out that there are pimples on my face! arggh..the same thing happened during the examination week. here, i'm counting the days before the last paper taking place. its on 14th november. 14? uhh its another two weeks. then i will finish my second last semester and become super duper senior.

today i got IMS. what's that? its Irritable Male Syndrome! it is the period when every man feel
hypersensitivity, anxiety, frustration, and anger that occurs in males and is associated with biochemical changes, hormonal fluctuations, stress, and loss of male identity. yes, it is the same thing happen to every women out there and it call as PMS!

i didn't talk to anyone. just kept myself isolated and mind my own businesses. I'm studying and keep studying just like a nerd student who really enthusiast to gain the utmost result soon.

suddenly i realize one thing. today is the first day of this month! Oh my God! no wonder i got IMS! because its really hard for me to go through the day! you know what, its almost 11 month i became a person who really scared to see number "1". too much thing happened when it comes to the first day in every month in my life.

uhh. i should kill myself before i could see another number "1" in every month onwards. bluerk. i hate number 1. seriously!!



this is what happened to me when it comes to the final examination. just look at my eye-bags.
this is the result caused by study too hard and get a less sleep compared to usual time.