Am i your friend?

For some people, friends are the most important thing in their life. I am making that sort of assumption is simply because me myself just cant find the one like yet. Or maybe i just can't in this lifetime. I technically met a few human beings i once thought could be labeled as friends. But you see? they shitted on me, and i even troubled my life and wasted my time helping them. I was there by the moment they needed me the most and surprisingly, they were not there when i need them. So by referring to the ancient description about friends, those people are not qualified to be labeled as friends. So to become a friend to your friend, you at first might need to be ready to shoulder the responsibilities and be ready to give your all in order to help and being there by the moment your friends needed you the most because you know exactly the feelings of being left all alone.

Back then when i was a kid, friends are the people i played around with. I was so small to understand what this one simple word means. But now, times and experiences finally matured me and helped me to completely understand the true meaning behind this one simple word and yet a very big matter to me now. For the past few years, i have been acting pretty happy and strong, but i actually don't. I lied to myself all this while and pretend like i am happy with my life even though i actually don't.

Up until now, i am still searching for a person or perhaps people that have the very same feelings that i have. Exhausted for friends and i have to admit that i am desperate for one.